Empty Arms Bereavement

Subsequent Choices Support Group


Subsequent Choices Support Group

WHEN: We meet virtually using the Zoom platform. The Subsequent Choices support group usually meets the third Thursday of each month from 7:30-9:00PM. We update all support group information on the calendar on our events page. We ask that if you're interested in attending, you contact us to confirm that you'd like to attend on the scheduled date.

WHERE: Zoom links for support groups are sent via email. If you are interested in joining this group, please contact us.

WHAT: Subsequent Choices meetings address the ways in which grief affects the journey towards another baby. Fear and hope coexist daily. One feels “different” from other parents anticipating a little one. In these meetings we explore where we stand: on pregnancy, on hope, on grief, on fear, on anticipation.

Any person who wants to participate in a conversation about pregnancy, adoption or surrogacy following a loss at any gestation. We try not to cover this topic extensively in our bereavement meetings out of respect to those who may not be ready to discuss another baby. If you are contemplating pregnancy, trying to conceive, beginning the adoption process, or pregnant and craving support, we welcome you to participate.

Our facilitators,
Jennifer Rocketfield and Amanda Adams hold this space for you. Please click their names to read their full bios.

Below, you will read the principles for the Empty Arms’ Subsequent Choices Support Group. Our principles are the best way to communicate the shared values that are upheld at group meetings, as well as to give you a sense of what to expect from participants during the course of a given evening. Strict confidentiality is expected from all group members, and participation in the discussion is optional.


Subsequent Choices Support Group

We believe in speaking the truth about the healing process when a baby has died, and this extends into the emotionally difficult process of welcoming the next baby into the family. We have all been through a tremendously difficult loss, and there may be few places where we can speak openly and honestly about what we are experiencing. We hope that you will speak honestly so that we can support each other as best we can.

We know that a subsequent pregnancy or adoption is both a blessing and a challenging experience. We explore these paradoxes: hope and fear, pain and joy, anxiety and hopeful anticipation.

Rather than avoid the fears that may come with a subsequent baby, we face them head on. We know that it is unrealistic to expect only hope and optimism after suffering such a substantial loss. We look for ways to separate our emotions from the facts and to find ways to find safety even in the face of such high stakes.

Feeling hopeful can feel difficult sometimes. Therefore, we hold onto hope for each other. We will have confidence that each of us has the ability to bring a new baby safely into the world. Know that you are not alone.

We believe that each of you has the ability to be a caring, loving, thoughtful parent; and that your loss will have changed you for the better as you re-enter the parenting journey.

We know that all parents need support, especially the bereaved. We stand together in our pain and move towards hope.