Time of Loss Support

Empty Arms has time-of-loss programs for families living in Western Massachusetts and who are receiving care at Baystate Medical Center, Cooley Dickinson Hospital, Mercy Family Life Center, and Baystate Franklin Medical Center, or who are experiencing losses at home. If you are currently experiencing a pregnancy loss of any type and live in our service region, please consider allowing us to walk with you as you navigate the very difficult, early hours and days of this journey. Empty Arms Peer Companions are a comforting, valuable support during this time.

Here’s how we can help:

  • Empty Arms Peer Companions offer support and accompany you at the time of loss to help you cope with and navigate the death of your baby. 

    Every Empty Arms Peer Companion has experienced the loss of their own baby and comes from diverse backgrounds of loss, family situations, and socioeconomic status. They joined the team after finding peer support essential to their healing and now wish to offer the same to others. All companions undergo training and mentorship. Families who have had a companion often stay in touch for years, and have expressed deep gratitude for being part of the program.

    Call or text 413-570-0811 with the message "NEED COMPANION".

Miscarriage Support

For those who are at the beginning phases of a miscarriage… 

  • You may leave the emergency room or your provider's office with your head spinning. Perhaps you’ve been given options, but feel like you need more facts or want to know what to expect. Perhaps you just need reassurance that others have been through this and you are not alone.

AND for those who are…

  • Miscarrying at home 

  • Planning to have a D&C

Text or call 413-570-0811 and request phone support or a home visit to help you to think through next steps and understand what these processes might be like. Your companion will help you navigate this process as well as the emotional aftermath of your miscarriage.

We welcome you to read Making it Through your Miscarriage below. This booklet, lovingly written by our Empty Arms community of parents who have suffered a miscarriage, describes the various emotional and physical experiences that can accompany a miscarriage and offers guidance for seeking support during and after your miscarriage.

Poor Prenatal Diagnosis and/or TFMR Support

If you have been told your baby has a life-limiting prenatal diagnosis, our hearts go out to you as you begin to process the news that your baby may not come home with you after all. Your situation is complicated, and you may face many difficult decisions that you feel unprepared to make. 

You or your nurse can contact us at any time to match you with a Peer Companion. Call or text 413-570-0811 with the message "NEED COMPANION".

We can help you think through your options. 

You may choose to continue to carry your pregnancy and take things day by day, or to compassionately end your pregnancy. We stand behind you wholeheartedly. Whatever you choose, we will support you through your journey.

While the decision is yours alone, it can sometimes help to hear the factors and considerations which guided others in choosing their next steps. 

This could include:

  • Support and birth planning in a continued pregnancy with complications, and/or support at your birth.

  • Peer support before, during, and after a pregnancy interruption/termination. If you are leaning towards termination, it may be helpful to hear stories from those who chose a surgical procedure and also those who chose to have labor induced.

If you have decided to undergo a TFMR, visit our TFMR resources page.

Stillbirth or Early Infant Loss Support

If you are in the hospital awaiting the delivery of your baby, or if you have a very sick baby in the NICU, or if your baby has already died, you or your nurse can contact us at any time to match you with a Peer Companion. Call or text 413-570-0811 with the message "NEED COMPANION".

What you should know:

  • You are your baby’s parents. You have a right to ask for or do what feels right to YOU.

  • You can spend as much or as little time with your baby as you wish—some say goodbye after a few hours, while others keep their baby overnight or for a few days.

  • Take time to be present with your baby. Difficult topics like autopsy, funeral, or burial can be discussed later with the help of the hospital staff and your companion when the time comes.

  • You can choose to have a baptism, naming ceremony, or something else that feels aligned with your faith/culture right here in the hospital.

  • After you do say goodbye, know it’s okay to ask to see your baby again at any time.

Your health care providers expect that at each stage, you will decide what is right for your family. There are no expectations about what you will choose or how you will do things. Take your time with each decision and follow your instincts.

Suggestions:

  • Lean on your Empty Arms Peer Companion who can help you think through options and decisions from the perspective of a parent who has been there.

  • Many parents spend time with their baby, take photos, and bring home mementos. You can decide what feels right once your baby is born, but families who spent those moments together were deeply grateful for it.

  • Invite anyone you’d like to meet your baby.

  • Allow family and friends to help you.

  • You may find comfort in performing "normal" parenting acts, like bathing, diapering, dressing, or singing to your baby. Cherish whatever feels right to you.

  • Hospital staff will gather mementos of your baby, even if you're unsure if you want them now, so they're available if you change your mind later.

Following these losses, please navigate to our individual support, support groups, or our resources pages to learn other ways we can support you in the aftermath of your loss.