Finding a Therapist

The loss of a pregnancy or baby is devastating and can have deep, long-lasting impacts on mental health. While there is no easy road to recovery, the support of a therapist can provide guidance and tools to help you navigate your grief.

Therapeutic Approaches

There are many types of therapy that may be helpful when addressing grief and loss such as:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

  • Relational Dynamic Psychotherapy

  • Attachment Theory Based Therapy

  • Somatic Therapy

  • Mindfulness Based therapy

  • EMDR

  • etc.

Speaking with your healthcare provider can help you determine which type(s) might be best suited for your situation, preferences, and goals.

Before Beginning Your Search

Here are some things to consider before reaching out to potential therapists:

  • Do I want to meet individually or with a partner?

  • Do I want to meet online or in person?

  • Are there specific days or times that work best for my schedule?

  • Does the potential therapist accept my insurance? If not, am I willing to pay out of pocket?

  • Am I seeking a specific style of therapy?

Once these details have been determined, it is easier to assess whether a particular therapist might be a good fit.

Searching For A Therapist

One of the most common ways to find a therapist is by searching online and filtering your searches based on your specific preferences (location, insurance accepted, type of therapy, individual or couple’s, accepting new clients, etc.).

Two websites that we find helpful are:

It is also possible to call your insurance provider for assistance in locating therapists in your network. We suggest making a list of 3-5 potential candidates to increase your chances of finding the right fit.

Send Out Inquiries

Based on the clinician’s preferences, inquiries may be sent by phone or email.

By Phone: It can be helpful to have a message prepared before calling in case you need to leave a voicemail.

Keep it short, but detailed like the example below:

"Hi, Lauren. My name is Mary Smith and I saw your profile on PsychologyToday.com. I am hoping you might have available openings for individual therapy. I am looking to work with someone who specializes in grief, specifically child loss. My insurance is Blue Cross and right now my schedule is pretty flexible, though I would prefer to work with someone in-person if possible. I would be interested in a consultation to see if we might be a good fit. Please call me back at your earliest convenience at 555-5555. Thank you."

By Email: It is OK to offer more details in an email, but keep it as concise as possible.

An example email:

"Hi, Lauren. My name is Mary Smith and I am inquiring to see if you have any current openings for individual therapy. I saw your profile on TherapyDen.com and saw that you specialize in child loss. I experienced a stillbirth loss in May and am hoping to receive support around this. My partner and I have different ways of coping. While she seems to be moving on at a quicker pace, I am struggling just to get through the day. We are both worried about how the loss of our daughter may be impacting our 5 year old son. I can only meet in the evening most days, though I have more flexibility on Tuesdays. I have Blue Cross for my insurance and would love to hear back from you. You can respond to this email or call me back at 555-5555 at your earliest convenience. I look forward to hearing from you."

I Found a Therapist, What’s Next?

The best therapy happens in an environment where you feel seen, supported, and heard. Your therapist will get to know you, and what helps keep you present and motivated. Together, you can establish an approach to your care and determine how often to meet. Remember, there's no "being good" at therapy—just showing up, which is often the hardest part. Be patient and give yourself grace as you start. Therapy is rewarding and healing, but it's also hard work. The fact that you're focusing on your needs and seeking support is something to take pride in!

What If It’s Not The Right Fit?

Sometimes, a therapist may seem perfect on paper, but you might not click, and that’s okay! Like any relationship, therapy depends on chemistry. Give it a few sessions, and if it's not working, speak up. Therapists welcome feedback and can adjust their approach or help you find someone better suited to your needs. Small changes can lead to a stronger, more trusted relationship.

Reach Out If We Can Help!

If you are struggling to find a therapist on your own, and you’re located in Massachusetts, please reach out to Empty Arms. We would be happy to share our list of trusted local providers and help facilitate a connection. Please fill out our Contact Form to be in touch.