LGBTQ+ Resources
Pregnancy or infant loss is a devastating and tragic experience for all. Those within the LGBTQ+ community often face significant challenges to growing their families, including scrutiny from providers, economic burden, and societal stigma. Subsequently, the loss experience can be compounded for those who have had to overcome these barriers and/or seek assistance with reproduction. LGBTQ+ parents like yourselves deserve inclusive spaces and communities where they can connect with others to feel less isolated.
If you’re seeking one-on-one support:
You can check out our Individual Support page. We mindfully connect you with LGBTQ+ members of our team who have experienced loss so that if you feel comfortable, we can connect you with a parent within the Empty Arms LGBTQ+ community.
If you’d like to join a support group:
Read more about our LGBTQ+ Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Group, which is a compassionate, inclusive space where you can connect with others who understand what you are going through. This group is lovingly led by LGBTQ+ parents who have experienced loss. Everyone grieves differently, and all emotions are welcome here.
Please note that our LGBTQ+ Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Group is open to nationwide participants, as well as our TFMR Support Group and BIPOC Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Group, however our other groups are closed to MA residents (with the exception of our Trying for Another Baby group, open to residents of MA, ME, and VT). You can read more about our other support groups here and other national organizations below that host online support groups.
You can also explore this collection of online stories/resources:
Pink Elephants: LGBTIQ+ Miscarriage & Preconception Support (Pink Elephants also has a private Facebook group called “LGBTIQ+ Miscarriage & Preconception Support”)
Return to Zero: H.O.P.E. for LGBTQ+ Families
Pregnancy After Loss Support: Resources for LGBTQ+ families
To Be Loved; On trans parenthood, loneliness, and loss: This essay, written by a trans dad, gestational parent, and Empty Arms Community Member, Aakash Kishore, lost his first baby at 21 weeks in November 2021.
The Legacy of Leo: #LGBTBabyLoss blog series
Understanding Transgender Pregnancy (and Loss): A helpful article with answers to common questions about gender, sexual orientation, and transgender pregnancies you can share with family, friends, or providers.
LGBTQ Pregnancy Loss And Miscarriage Often Means Grieving In The Gaps by Brianna Sharpe
Lactation After Loss
As a newly bereaved parent, lactation can be a physical and emotionally painful reminder of your recent loss. If you identify as transgender, your pain may be exacerbated by feelings of gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or overall feelings of discomfort, sadness, anger, or confusion.
Empty Arms is here to support parents through any and all emotional responses they may face in response to lactation. We also want you to know that you have choices about what to do with your milk when your baby dies. A common choice is milk suppression, or you may choose to pump and donate milk to babies in need. If you choose suppression, chest-binding is not a recommended method as it may result in atrophy, engorgement, or mastitis. Please speak with your healthcare provider about these associated risks if chest-binding is part of your gender-affirming care.
If you are struggling with how to cope with lactation and would like further thoughts or advice, please contact us right away. We can help you determine how to best weather this difficult physical process and the emotions that come with it. LGBTQ+ specific Lactation Consultants can be made available to assist you free of charge.
Looking for more support groups?
We'd like to suggest that you look at these national organizations below that host online support groups. It's possible you might even find an in-person support group in your community, or other bereaved parents in your state who can help you find something that is closer to home.
https://starlegacyfoundation.org/support-groups/
https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/psi-online-support-meetings/